so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
