he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
