So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
