She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
