Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
