yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.