my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.