Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(239): View more from Florida

and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.

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(239): and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer. http://tfl.nu/xmgi

Replies (5) Good night (688) Bad night (2003)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.

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(647): Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream. http://tfl.nu/8fzb

Replies (5) Good night (6168) Bad night (761)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night

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(732): so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night http://tfl.nu/ig0k

Replies (12) Good night (782) Bad night (4072)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications

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(732): everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications http://tfl.nu/d1qr

Replies (21) Good night (7508) Bad night (874)
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(540): View more from Virginia

she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.

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(540): she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated. http://tfl.nu/qt45

Replies (32) Good night (904) Bad night (9147)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme

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(662): looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme http://tfl.nu/w8jn

Replies (16) Good night (3896) Bad night (1745)
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(914): View more from New York

Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"

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(914): Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl" http://tfl.nu/cqzd

Replies (12) Good night (2581) Bad night (1331)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...

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(701): Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper... http://tfl.nu/oauc

Replies (4) Good night (811) Bad night (2310)
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(903): View more from Texas

Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.

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(903): Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning. http://tfl.nu/i0lg

Replies (6) Good night (3181) Bad night (1158)
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(719): View more from Colorado

There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.

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(719): There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans. http://tfl.nu/qyi6

Replies (5) Good night (658) Bad night (1214)
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(516): View more from New York

I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"

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(516): I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice" http://tfl.nu/h37t

Replies (0) Good night (576) Bad night (341)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs

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(919): to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs http://tfl.nu/1k80

Replies (7) Good night (562) Bad night (350)
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(310): View more from California

I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.

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(310): I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed. http://tfl.nu/5cad

Replies (4) Good night (1423) Bad night (376)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.

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(504): It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection. http://tfl.nu/5s3v

Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (654)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep

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(614): Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep http://tfl.nu/uw4b

Replies (1) Good night (198) Bad night (467)

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