Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  we have pet lesbian snakes

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  (248): we have pet lesbian snakes http://tfl.nu/tcmu
  Replies (4) Good night (1523) Bad night (632)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

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  (816): My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won. http://tfl.nu/68w0
  Replies (4) Good night (973) Bad night (1087)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.

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  (301): Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them. http://tfl.nu/uwdn
  Replies (25) Good night (3433) Bad night (669)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.

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  (843): Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT. http://tfl.nu/52hv
  Replies (39) Good night (5127) Bad night (652)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.

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  (306): I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car. http://tfl.nu/2mw2
  Replies (15) Good night (5800) Bad night (1244)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...

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  (425): Come, dress lightly, bring tequila... http://tfl.nu/t2fe
  Replies (6) Good night (2251) Bad night (1172)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.

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  (678): You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk. http://tfl.nu/2vvu
  Replies (3) Good night (964) Bad night (1354)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.

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  (412): Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently. http://tfl.nu/q1xe
  Replies (1) Good night (1026) Bad night (834)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.

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  (973): Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me. http://tfl.nu/gl2k
  Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (1116)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.

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  (402): He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians. http://tfl.nu/6owi
  Replies (9) Good night (890) Bad night (1996)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.

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  (312): Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows. http://tfl.nu/kvi1
  Replies (2) Good night (1791) Bad night (412)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.

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  (716): it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality. http://tfl.nu/d5wl
  Replies (7) Good night (875) Bad night (300)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.

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  (651): Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room. http://tfl.nu/zu20
  Replies (0) Good night (435) Bad night (262)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?

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  (908): He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling? http://tfl.nu/dpwn
  Replies (9) Good night (552) Bad night (447)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?

  (520): View more from Arizona

  No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas

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  (480): Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital? (520): No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas http://tfl.nu/4qq7
  Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (229)

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