There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize