How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
