Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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