It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
50% drunk capacity currently
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
