you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
