Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
