remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
