your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize