Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize