After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
