I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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