Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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