I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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