It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
