I want you more than these girls want KFC
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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