and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
