I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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