I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
