i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
