Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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