Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
