Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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