I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
