this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
