didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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