Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
