I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
