if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
