i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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