im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
