Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
