I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
