Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
