By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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