Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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