This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
