Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
