Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
