he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
