She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
