ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
