I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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