Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The Olympian is in my bed
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
