Whats the glycemic index on semen?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
50% drunk capacity currently
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
