Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
