Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
