my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you traded sex for a burrito?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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