Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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