Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
