He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
