Don't you send me to vm
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
