I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
