Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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