Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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