kristin has been a bad kristin
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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