oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
